Tai

The last few months, I've been keeping a secret, one of those delightful kinds that are so magical you have to keep them to yourself for a while. (No, I am not pregnant.) It all started first with this playful little energy I noticed, often at night or when I was drawing. I actually wondered if this new spirit was an animal guide, but I didn't think so because Percie, my cat, was in the room and didn't react. (Percie is very accustomed to people spirits wandering the house, but when the occasional ghost cat turns up, Percie hisses, dashes around, howls, and usually winds up huddled in the sink as if it were a storm cellar, but I digress.)

So one night, I was coloring with a bright red crayon, and a little voice said, "Um, I love red. Red is my favorite." At that point, I almost fell off my bed, and the spirit giggled, then disappeared. She next showed up when I was reading a book about an elephant. Again, all of the sudden, she said, "Elephants are the best." I "saw" (in my mind) a little Asian girl, about age 3 or 4, with big eyes and chubby cheeks. I said, "Who are you?" and she said, "Um, my name is Tai." I took a few breaths, trying to sense other spirits and also panicking that some child had turned up, no doubt with a message for her family, and I would have to track them down, which I really didn't want to do. I explained to her that I couldn't pass on a message, and she said, "Um, I don't have a message, I just want to read the book with you because I really love elephants, too." Ok, a little strange, even by my standards, but, whatever.

Around this time, I read a most excellent book called "Ask Your Guides" by Sonia Choquette. She talked about joy guides, which are often animals already in our lives, but can be animals or children's spirits. Either way, their purpose is to help us not take life or our selves too seriously, not work too hard, and to just have fun. To be honest, I've always resisted the idea of a child guide because to me it seemed like...well, it would be a dead kid, and kind of creepy, but nothing about Tai was creepy and when she showed up again, I said, "You're a joy guide, aren't you?" and she said, "Um, yes, I am."

Tai is nothing like any other guide I've encountered. Usually, when I get information from a guide, it's like they've downloaded it to my brain. When I ask Tai a question, there's a pause, and I see her furrow her brow as she considers it, and then she answers, almost invariably, with the first word being "Um." For instance, "Um, life is about choices. If you make a bad choice, it's ok, but you need to learn from it and do better." Or "Um, maybe you should have a blog and just say what you think and um, if people don't like it, you could make new friends, because friends should like you and be nice to you. Plus, I don't think people can know what you're thinking if you don't tell them."

In addition to loving the color red, elephants, and drawing, Tai is very musical. I get a kick out of this because I am very not musical. I discovered this when I had a couple of lines from "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" stuck in my head. Pretty soon, I heard "Um, what's that song?" When I couldn't remember it, I went to youtube. First I played the original for her, and she liked that, but then I found an African Lion King version, and she just loved that. Next thing I knew, I was playing other youtube videos, especially Muppets for her, and she was singing, dancing, and giggling. At that point, I ordered the first season of the original Muppet Show for her. I need to get the first movie, too, because we've already established that "The Rainbow Connection" is one of her favorite songs. (Tai now has her own playlist on my Ipod.) One day, I played some Ella Fitzgerald scatting for her and she thought that was just divine. Now she likes to sing "Fly Me To The Moon" and scats whole sections: "bop bop bop bop bop...." She tells me she has perfect pitch. I told her I'd take her word for it as I can't even carry a tune.

Like all little kids, things catch Tai's fancy. When I went to an art convention, and one woman was wearing fairy wings, Tai downright swooned and wanted some. We're still negotiating that. We look for wings on Etsy all the time, but haven't found the right ones. I've explained the criteria: they need to be well-made, but not cost too much or it will cut into our art supply budget. Also, they need to be lightweight and comfortable. Most importantly, they have to be made for hobbits. To illustrate this, I showed her a picture of Arwen from Lord of the Rings and emphasized how she was tall and thin and wings would work better on her than on a short and round person like me. Tai is undeterred, so eventually, you may see me walking around in fairy wings.

In my art group, people often post a "draw me this" request and Tai insisted I take one which was a woman holding a snake. I had no interest in drawing that and couldn't even figure out how I would, but Tai countered, "But it would be fun!" I said, "Are you going to help?" and she said, "Um, yes, I will help. I'm a good helper." She helped and it turned out ok, though the woman in the card has the same expression I had when Tai told me I should draw it. Here's this poor woman holding a snake and looking like "Whose idea was this?"

One way that Tai is like other spirit guides is that she gets annoyed when I ask for her advice and don't listen.  For instance, I was working on an art project that was quickly turning into a mess and I said, "Ok, Tai, why isn't this working?" She said, "Um, I think you're too tired." I agreed, but, true to my nature and DNA, I kept trying to make it work until all of the sudden Tai said, rather loudly, "Um, I said you're too tired!" I cracked up and said, "Ok, Tai, you're right. Let's take a break and watch some Muppets."

Part of why I haven't been talking about Tai, aside from the usual "they'll think I'm nuts" bit, is that I was kind of afraid if I did, she'd disappear. We talked about that last night and Tai said, "Um, that's not going to happen." And then she started singing....